Author posts
Uncoupling, an insider’s guide to separation in New Zealand
Thoughts on uncoupling
How do you tell your partner you want to separate?
If there is no other way, you have one or more difficult conversations ahead. Even if you are both unhappy in the relationship, the one hearing the announcement will be shocked – this will be actual shock. There will likely be tears and accusations. How you behave in...
What does it mean to uncouple?
Uncoupling from a relationship means uncoupling not just from the person but from the lifestyle and the family unit. You are also untangling finances and assets, friendships and families. It can get complicated but that doesn’t mean you should stay in a relationship...
Unlucky in Love?
Many people say they have looked, but there’s just no one out there that they would want to have a relationship with. There are many ways to have a relationship and looking beyond the traditional can be eye-opening. A key factor here is attitude. Having an open mind...
Use your resources
Whatever age or stage of life you may be, separation is hard. No one inherently knows how to navigate the many challenges through to financial separation and becoming the person you need to be to lead you into the rest of your life. Don’t forget there are...
Three things your kids will (eventually) thank you for
However old your kids are, they will be affected by your separation. It doesn’t have to be all negative though, and here are three things they will (eventually) thank you for. .
The three things that happen immediately on separation
All separations are different, but the three things in this video commonly happen immediately after one party says the words which initiate the separation process.
Helping a friend going through a separation
Barbara discusses how to help a friend, colleague or family member thinking about separating or stuck in the separation process. A practical way to help is to recommend or buy them my book, Uncoupling, an insider's guide to separation in New Zealand.
Separating? Could relationship counselling help?
Hard to believe, looking back, but the only time I saw a counsellor through my separation was to figure out how to tell my partner I wanted out. Over a few sessions I gained confidence in my decision to the point that I knew I could - and should - do it,...
Separation – Do you know your legal rights?
There’s not a chance I would have published a book using just my cobbled together knowledge and personal experience. I spent three years working through the division of my relationship property, going down some expensive and unproductive paths to negotiate...
How do you know it’s over?
I can’t speak for my former partner, but I can’t recall when I was last truly happy in that relationship. Just a small push too far got me thinking about how life on my own could pan out. I spent months assessing my life and coming to terms with how I felt about being...