Acknowledging that both your and your partner’s reactions are largely part of the grief process really helps when coming to terms with the separation.

This process may start well before the separation as the person making the decision mentally separates. That person will have had a good hard look at the relationship and arrived at a difficult decision, adjusting to how their new life will look. It will be quite different for the person hearing the news. They have no choice but to work through all stages of grief with friends and family as witnesses. Read more about what grief looks like in a separation in my book, Uncoupling, an insider’s guide to separation in New Zealand.