{"id":244493,"date":"2021-08-11T17:15:34","date_gmt":"2021-08-11T05:15:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.barbararelph.com\/uncoupling\/?p=244493"},"modified":"2021-09-11T14:52:00","modified_gmt":"2021-09-11T02:52:00","slug":"separation-isnt-easy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.barbararelph.com\/uncoupling\/separation-isnt-easy\/","title":{"rendered":"Separation isn&#8217;t easy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Research states divorce or separation is the second most stressful adult life event after the death of a spouse or child, but that was challenged by people I interviewed for this book. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Friends frequently scatter as if separation were COVID, or feel they need to pick a side, and even if it is your side, they don\u2019t know what to say; there are no social invitations, and no meals left on the doorstep as frequently happens after a death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The effect of separation is shocking in its immediacy. Everything changes in an instant. Children mourn a stable (if unhappy) family, friends duck for cover, and life-changing decisions are made through a mist of grief and uncertainty. Often one or other person in the relationship will block access to funds, leaving the other high and dry. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I was the person making the announcement in my relationship, and it resulted in a traumatic three year journey to financial separation. With no job and no established career path, I was entirely at the mercy of the success or otherwise of the outcome of negotiations between lawyers to establish where I stood financially. The good news is that it does end. It has to!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The book \u2013 <em>Uncoupling<\/em> \u2013 addresses the key issues of separation, including the law in New Zealand, managing lawyers and keeping costs down and spirits up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Research states divorce or separation is the second most stressful adult life event after the death of a spouse or child, but that was challenged by people I interviewed for this book. Friends frequently scatter as if separation were COVID, or feel they need to pick a side, and even if it is your side, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":244494,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-244493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Separation isn&#039;t easy - Uncoupling Guide<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Uncoupling - Separation is a difficult process\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Separation isn&#039;t easy - 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